I wrote about taking risks and stretching in new ways on my last post. If you told me one day I’d enjoy public speaking, I would have thought you had me mixed-up with someone else. Public speaking used to be right up there with root canals and baby tarantulas. Speaking into a microphone was not at the top of my “Yay, this is fun!” list.

A couple of years ago I decided to take a risk and give public speaking a shot. I muddled through my first speech (a group of 500+ people. When I do something, I go BIG!). I didn’t faint, fall, or vomit…to my surprise I rather enjoyed it. I didn’t even have to imagine the audience in their Fruit of the Looms to get through it, I just spoke from my heart. Feeling passionate about subject matter (the healing power of art) was what got me through it.

I recently spoke at The Parkinson’s Institute in Sunnyvale, CA. I shared a bit about my life with PD, and afterwards taught a class on Scriboodles. Yes, it’s as fun as it sounds! I want to thank my dear friend Lauren who came along and helped out with everything. She was kind enough to take some photos of the event….please enjoy~

Parkinson’s Disease is a mixed bag of tricks. It can bring you to your knees in fear, make you throw a pity party on your own behalf, and also bring out the very best in you. Confusing? You betcha. Weird? No doubt.

A funny thing happened while struggling to accept the truth about my dopamine deprived brain…I became a happy person. I remember hearing Michael J. Fox speak about this same thing years ago. At the time I remember thinking he was either a really good actor, a really good liar, or had completely lost his mind.

I now get it. The truth is, once I accepted my diagnosis I unexpectedly discovered the road to happiness. It wasn’t until I was a Parkinson’s patient that I began to step up to the plate in life. Post PD is also when I also decided to evict my inner cowardly lion. I bravely began to be me, and this is when my world began to shift.

After I was diagnosed, I learned to laugh from my belly instead of my throat. This meant a horrible haircut soon became a funny story instead of a bad mood. My inner lightbulb quickly went from 60 watts to 100, and I could suddenly see and hear things I somehow missed before. I decided to stop feeling like a victim in life, and no longer took everything so personally. I gave others room to breathe, and expected the same. I basically began to sail my own ship.

PD gifted me with a quiet knowingness and respect for the human journey. For many years I suffered with depression and floated around in circles paralyzed by fear. I couldn’t grasp the concept of spirituality and literally felt trapped in a bubble. As strange as it sounds,Parkinson’s Disease turned things around for me.

It wasn’t until after I was diagnosed that I started to trust others. I began to hand things over to my higher power and discovered the meaning of quiet calmness. I learned to lovingly embrace all of my feelings, including vulnerability and fear. As time passed, I began to feel a warm happiness grow deep inside of my heart.

Yes, I continually pray for the day the headlines read “Parkinson’s Cure Found”! However, in the meantime I’m eternally grateful for the unexpected soul gifts that Parkinson’s Disease has given me.

Whew! Been working my tail off creating artsy pretties that I’ll hopefully sell this weekend. This is the fourth year I’ve participated in the Sonoma Vintage Art Festival. For you non-Californians, Sonoma is a charming town located in the heart of the wine country (northern California).

This is always a great show. Tons of friendly people (the wine seems to help), live music, yummy food, and lots of art. For the show I created some collage canvases, a collection of mini houses, and couple of journals, and oodles of jewelry.

I took a few shots of some goodies I’ll be selling. Be sure to stop by if you’re in the area! As you know I never leave home without my beloved camera, so I’ll have some fun art show pics to share with you next week. Have a soulful weekend and remember you are loved!

One of my favorite things to do is watch my 17 year old daughter ride her horse. Emma Rose (my baby) and Holly (her baby) have a beautiful connection. Emma is an accomplished horsewoman, and I’m a big scaredy cat. When Emma is done riding Holly, she’ll look at me and say, “Hey Mom, wanna hop on?” I smile and so does she, we both know my answer is no.

A few years ago, I had a small horse…okay it was a large pony. Ginger was a sweet Haflinger and short just like me. I figured a short horse meant a shorter trip to the ground….luckily I never once fell off. I used to trot Ginger around the arena…..okay I’d walk her…..and pretend I was a cowgirl. One weekend I competed in a western Gymkhana event. The competition that day was tough. So what if my competitors were all under age of ten, they  meant business! I raced around the barrels…okay I crawled around the barrels, and got disqualified. It didn’t matter, I was still over the moon. It was on that day that I became an official cowgirl with heart.

I took a few shots at the ranch a couple weeks ago and thought you might enjoy a peek.

Happy Trails and have a giddy-up weekend!

As time ticks on so does my artwork. I’m feeling very reflective lately. Not sure if it’s the Parkinson’s, the weight loss (down 80+ lbs. Update on bariatric surgery coming soon), or having an only child who is heading off to college next year. I think it’s a combination of things that’s causing me to look inward.

Creating art is very healing for me. It’s a way to get in touch with my feelings and express my inner world. I recently purchased a book titled “Spilling Open” written by a lovely young artist named Sabrina Ward Harrison. I was truly inspired and touched by her work. She’s brave, raw, and not afraid to speak her truth. Qualities I deeply admire in human beings. Her artwork is free and wild. It has a beautiful messiness that reminds me to find my inner voice. I was once a “color inside the lines” kinda gal, and Sabrina’s work reminds me to color off the page!

As I quietly read through her wonderful book, I felt a portal open up inside of me. Her book reminded me to continue to reflect on life and don’t run the risk of going numb. Seems like the world is figuring out ways to shut feelings out. Going numb seems like a popular choice, however I can’t imagine existing without depth and curiosity. There’s no denying a life of reflection can be painful at times, but for me it’s the only path I know.

I woke up early this morning to a myriad of annoying e-mail advertisements. While glancing through the junk, I came across one sparkling pearl. The following wise thoughts were written by another brave soul named Pema Chodron:

WE CAN ENDURE A LOT
To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life than that, we must realize we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is.

Both of these amazing women have inspired me to explore my own feelings through my artwork. I recently started designing an interactive journal..a workbook of sorts. This book includes pages designed for the reader to jot down words, drawings, photos, etc. Sort of a joint venture between the two of us : ) I thought you might enjoy getting a peek at some of the pages I’ve been working on. Enjoy fellow brave warriors…

It’s getting close to five years since I heard the words, “You have Parkinson’s Disease”. Incurable brain diseases are a funny thing…..they play tricks on your mind. It’s a hard reality to forget, and denial is short-lived. The truth is, Parkinson’s is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I don’t obsessive about the disease, however my body is continually reminding me. As magic brain chemicals slowly disappear, so does my ability to multitask and think clearly. My balance is off, large crowds overwhelm me, and I’m deeply fatigued. I’m growing more insecure about my driving abilities simply because my visual perception is getting worse. Yes, this is all part of Parkinson’s Disease. Even the simple task of emptying a dishwasher is oddly overwhelming. It feels ridiculous to even write this, but this is the ugly truth about Parkinson’s.

Luckily I’m not a big-time tremorer, my disease manifests itself in other ways. I suffer from exhaustion, cognitive slowness, stiff limbs, and a foot that claws continually. If I’m physically challenged, emotionally drained, or extremely nervous the tremor will appear. On most days I have an internal rattle which is hard to describe. It’s feels like one of those beds that you put a quarter in and it vibrates.

By the time you’re diagnosed with PD, you’ve already had the disease for 10+ years. The symptoms appear after 80% of the brain’s dopamine producing cells are dead. The medications are a blessing, but the truth is they only help with symptoms. Currently there are no drugs available to help protect the remaining brain cells. It’s very scary to know there’s a thief residing in your brain.

I feel incredibly lonely at times. The truth is most people don’t want to be reminded of the disease. Very few people in my life have taken the time to read anything about PD. This adds to the loneliness. I’m sure if I had a noticeable tremor people would show more sensitivity to what’s actually going on. Since they can’t visually “see” it, they can’t seem to “get it”.

In the meantime I quietly travel the road I’ve been assigned, and remind myself of the  amazing blessings have come through this unexpected  journey. I continue to hand my worries over to my higher power and trust in the universal plan.

The past few weeks I’ve morphed into a real live art elf jumping from one project to the next. I’m preparing for an upcoming art show, which means most of my free time has been spent in my studio.

Lately I’ve been on the look-out for vintage flower brooches and earrings. I finally collected enough pieces to get started on a fun project called a “Flower Power” cake.

Making a cake-stand was the first step. This was easily done by gluing a crystal candlestick to the bottom of an antique plate. (E6000 glue works great for this) I then glued three round boxes together (from Michael’s Craft Store) and painted the entire “cake” a soft cream color. After I removed the jewelry backings, I glued each bauble onto the cardboard cake with a hot glue-gun. I hoped to have enough jewels to finish the project, however I only made it halfway around. Oh well, collecting treasures is half the fun…..the retro bloom-hunt continues!

Being a mom is one of the best things on the planet, and I’m blessed to have an amazing daughter named Emma Rose. She’s a bright, fun-loving teenager, who makes me laugh harder than anyone I know. It’s hard to believe she’ll be 17 years old in just a few days. This is her last year of high school, and you can see she’s enjoying her senior year.

I cracked up when Emma (left) and her friend Savannah recently dressed up for spirit week. With the help of some Goodwill clothes, a little extra padding, and a dusting of baby powder, the girls transformed themselves into “senior” citizens. Below are some before and after shots!